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Fat Sparrow

The blogger formerly known as The Midnight Slasher

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Fat Sparrow: We're small, we're everywhere, we're taking over, and we know what you did last summer because we shat on your head while you were doing it. Fill up your feeder; I'm fucking well starving.

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Time To Get A Life

Northern Ireland

Your Opinion Counts For Nothing

This one's for the men only: Have you ever tasted your own love juice?
	You know it, baby.
	Only once, I swear! Does that make me gay?
	What kind of sick fuck are you?
	I'm taking the Fifth.
	I'm taking a fifth of Scotch before I answer that question.
	Not yet, but now that you've mentioned it....

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New to The Sparrow's Nest? Read The Posts They Love The Mosts

Fire in the hole: A true story
Red Rover, Red Rover, The Ex ran him over
The Diamond Ring
Bruce Springsteen is a nit on a homeless wanker's crusty pubes
You paid how much for that weed? You're a fuckwit
Marriage: Probably not worth it
109 things you probably never wanted to know about me

Fat Sparrow on Facebook

Some Chinese cunt stole my name on Facebook, dammit

Mah Kitteh Blog

Fat Sparrow on I Can Has Cheeseburger

My Honeys

Spike
Scully
Jason Bourne
Simon Pegg
Seth Green
House
John Smeaton

Things to think about while wanking

Brilliant British slang dictionary!
Google Fat Sparrow's weird references
For fuck's sake, just use this and quit e-mailing me about asbestos tampons
The Darwin Awards
They will sacrifice your virgin daughters

Bird feeders

Previously, on "Fat Sparrow"....

Kids

You paid how much for that weed? You're a fuckwit
My daughter is a gift
Teenagers are twats
I hope that haircut came with knickers, because you look like a fucking twat
I need a priest
Blue's poos
I'm going to start telling people she's adopted

Old people

In-valid geezers
The Cautionary Tale of The Old Bat
Spouse Sparrow talks about: Old homeless woman sex

Sex, or something like it

Itchy minge
Doesn't it make you hungry?
Cheer up, you sick fucker

Pets

Farting gay mongo alien eels
Sleep, that knits up the.... Oh, fuck it
My pussy is useless
Lock your doors; I have become a hardened criminal
Great White Hunter
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out....

Religion

Will the Virgin mind if you eat her out?
How to piss off a White, Male, Conservative, Republican, Catholic bookstore owner
Reality shows can go suck on a diseased knob
God has cursed South Dakota

Music

Bruce Springsteen is a nit on a homeless wanker's crusty pubes
"Fat Sparrow: The Movie" (yeah, I'd wait for it to come out on video, too)

Bugs

The female of the species is more deadly than the male
Spouse Sparrow says: Bugs go crunch
You, a person of culture? It is to laugh
Great White Hunter
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out....
Quit bugging me

The Spouse Sparrow

Conversations with the Spouse Sparrow
Currying favor
Kiddie porn?
Great White Hunter
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out....
My in-laws are fucking brilliant
Spouse Sparrow observes America, Part I
Spouse Sparrow says: Bugs go crunch
Spouse Sparrow talks about: Benders like Beckham
Currying favor
Spouse Sparrow talks about: Being a moron magnet
Spouse Sparrow talks about: Old homeless woman sex

The Ex and his family

Fire in the hole: A true story
Red Rover, Red Rover, The Ex ran him over

Old Knudsen

In which I introduce Old Knudsen, the crazy rambling fucker
Old Knudsen introduces himself and rambles on (age will do that to you)
Battered Tard and chips
Old Knudsen talks about: The Talented Mr. Knudsen

Timely, at the time

Proper marketing solves the world's problems
You fucking hypocrites
Stop planetary discrimination NOW!
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's definitely not that cunt Superman, oops, must be terrorists
Sparrows have won; get over it
Lebanon, Shmebanon; I'm not wearing leg warmers again
Fuck you and the horse-faced wife you rode in on
God has cursed South Dakota
Fakes on a plane
Take my Fox News reporter, please
Segue to Segway
They're a bit fucking edgy since the Steve Irwin thing, aren't they?

Miscellaneous crap

Blog readers are like hummingbirds
Reality shows can go suck on a diseased knob
Stick it in your ear hole!
You cannot make this shit up
The gene pool definitely needs some chlorine in it
Permission to come abroad
Miscellaneous name-dropping
My life is over
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming
I am cursed! Cursed, I tell you!
What the fuck?
The temperature has actually been below 80!
My lump, my lump, my volar wrist ganglion cyst bump
Tossing the salad
"Fat Sparrow: The Movie" (yeah, I'd wait for it to come out on video, too)
So many gifts, and it's not even Christmas
The village idiot
Panic on the streets of....
Everyday is Hallowe'en
How to tell if the neighborhood you live in is not the best
Days of whine and noses
Spam spam spam spam!

Contact Us

Fat Sparrow
Old Knudsen

They killed Foot Eater!

Officially banned by NiolK!

Officially banned by <a href="http://jimmylovesthevelvetfog.blogspot.com/">NiolK</a>!

Yep, I'm an Austen fanatic

Take the Quiz here!

Believe me, I was just as surprised as you

NerdTests.com says I'm a Cool Nerd God. Click here to take the Nerd Test, get nerdy images and jokes, and write on the nerd forum!

What? That's it?! Frak off!

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I guess Ray Bradbury should clean up his language

I write like
Ray Bradbury

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Plays well with others

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Fat Sparrow -- Eliminating one bluebird of happiness at a time, since 1969

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