Friday, October 13, 2006

I'm going to start telling people she's adopted

I cannot believe the utter idiocy that comes out of my teenager's mouth.

Today, the Fledgling Sparrow asked me "Mom, who was it in the Bible that said 'If you build it, they will come'?"

Honest to fuck, that's what she asked me.

Yes, this is the one that's an Honor Student.

Fat Sparrow


Kieran said...





Was it Noah?


kalise25ie said...

Mel Gibson.

fatmammycat said...

The little Goth kid asked me recently, 'Is Welsh English?'
'No, it's Welsh.'
'Yes, but is it English?'
What can you do? 15 years olds, bless 'em.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

When I first got here a woman in her 40s asked me if Scotland was near Australia.

That really depressed my day.

Dr Maroon said...

It WAS Noah.
"If you build it they shall come"
"And they came in their twos, each unto the other, yea verily."
"And the oxen played the triple play, even unto Moab in the wilderness of Yogsogoroth"

Old Knudsen said...

It was to John the Baptist who liked to get ladies nice and wet, God told him to build a machine out of wood and leather called the Ejaculator, he was to set up a sperm bank for God in the desert, that may seem a little crazy but then again most prophets are, it was a test of faith or some vague thing like that, anyway salami did a dance, she was like the Shakira of her day, hubba hubba and john spilled his seed all over her blue dress leaving a stain so they cut off his head, the rest is history, no really, its historical fact, cos the bible tells me so.

Fat Sparrow said...

Kieran -- That fucker Noah forgot the unicorns and dragons; he is dead to me.

Kalise25ie -- The fucking Jews are responsible for all the fucking building in the world, you know.

Fatmammycat -- God help us all, the kid does actually know the difference between all the UK places, as the Spouse Sparrow drilled her in it endlessly. Teenagers, can't live with them, can't kill them legally.

Sam -- See above. Fat lot of good it does her in America, huh?

Doc -- you are smoking butt hairs; that was Lord of the Rings.

Old Knudsen -- That wasn't how I learned it in church. Is that in the back of the Bible?


I suppose I should not be surprised that she is this ignorant, considering we don't let her get exposed to a bunch of church crap, or movies. Ah well, that's what I get.

Never mind, I'm sure it's not my fault; now that I think about it, even if she would have seen the movie, she still wouldn't have remembered jack shit, anyway. She asks me the same damn questions over and over again as it is.

Anonymous said...


bunch of fukni arsewipte love, that's what happens when you send em to a yank school theyjust teach em gymnastics i've seen it on telly. An also frm telly i can tell you now, don't fuckni let her go to that cunting prom, some big ball chucking retard jock is gonna try smoothnig is way in or she's going to get stuck wityh the 'nerdlinger' it's bnag of shite

scotland is that near england that 'dark land' of all them gays and pedos? tahat kuntsen is a dirty old bugger, i bet he has an asbo.

Fat Sparrow said...

Awww, and here I thought you didn't comment because you didn't love me.

Gymnastics? The world isn't ready for the Fledgling Sparrow barreling about. She's built like a ballet dancer, and she's taking dance this year, but she is as coordinated as a drunken elephant tangoing with a rampaging rhino. You have to see it to believe it. I think her dance teacher is still in shock.

Prom is not until at least next year, thank fuck. She'll probably go with a geek, as she is a Star Wars geek herself. She's hot enough to get the jocks, but unless they can talk about Star Wars or LTR, she's not interested.

Plus, unlike her mother, she's very much a "what have you done for me lately" type of girl. She probably wouldn't even look at some guy's knob unless he had bought her some very expensive jewelry. It's all very calculated with her. Scary.