Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Cheer up, you sick fucker

The Ill Man is feeling a bit low (er, "While you're down there....") at the moment, so Clairwil suggested that we cheer him up. Credit to Spouse Sparrow for finding the link.

Okay, 'fess up. You know you've done it. We've all done it, it's just that some of us will actually admit it.

No, not wanking.


Now, I'll admit, cybersex is not very satisfying, but at least my sessions never went as bad as these.

Fat Sparrow


Anonymous said...

Is this work safe? I have to ask because I've been getting lots of warnings recently...

Fat Sparrow said...

No pics, only text. It depends on how well your colleagues can squint and read from a distance.

It does take a while to read through, though.

Kieran said...

It made me laugh. Then it made me cry. Then it made me laugh and cry at the same time. Then I neither laughed nor cried. I had a biscuit and a cup of tea. Now I'm starting to laugh again. What hell have you unleashed upon me woman?

Foot Eater said...

Sex with people! Who needs it? I prefer a nice cup of tea. Though it burns your John Thomas something awful.

ill man said...

Fat Sparrow, I salute you! I've read the first few and I lughed like a loon. I'll read the rest later. If I don't i'll probably never make my tea and starve to death..............

Cheers again missus!

Fat Sparrow said...

Kieran -- "Now I'm starting to laugh again. What hell have you unleashed upon me woman?"

You know, I get that response from a lot of men. Actually, women, too, now that I think about it.

Footie -- "I prefer a nice cup of tea. Though it burns your John Thomas something awful."

Try ice tea (No, not the rapper, you sick bastard).

Ill Man -- Glad you liked it. I really do get my jollies on making people laugh.

Binty McShae said...

Pissing myself with laughter at the office... trying not to attract too much attention, but it's difficult when reading:

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Whoever pranked these is an absolute genius!

Rob7534 said...

Cyber sex... oh the memories.

Of course I don't do that anymore... not with the wonderful invention of the Cam!

Show me yours, and I'll show you mine, that's my motto now-a-days!

Anonymous said...

Finally got to look at this. Work blocked me. Pure genius! I roared laughing in so many places.

Then I came.

Fat Sparrow said...

Binty -- Glad you liked them. I totally pictured Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill on that one.

Rob7534 -- Yeah, typing is way easier. At least they can't see the bored look on your face, then.

I was having phone sex one time with some guy (there was nothing on TV that night), who was kinda boring, and I must've sounded bored, because he asked me "What are you doing?" and I replied "Playing with a pair of scissors." He then asked "Is that some kind of slang for something dirty?" And I told him "No, I'm actually just playing with a pair of scissors. Sorry."

He still came. Oh well.

Kav -- "Then I came."

See above story.