Thursday, October 19, 2006

They're a bit fucking edgy since the Steve Irwin thing, aren't they?

Everyone has got their panties in a bunch over the whole North Korea thing, but what are they doing about the sting rays? Nothing, I tell you, and it's a crying shame.

The U.N. really needs to get on this right away, as North Korea has yet to attack anyone, and sting rays are very obviously on the war path. I know I just don't feel safe in my own home now. Okay, that's because I live in the ghetto, but still.

Fat Sparrow

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

You do in your arse live in the ghetto. Any fat sparrow in the ghetto would be shot down and roasted. I know this. It's how my first husband died.

Fat Sparrow said...

That's not what I heard about your first husband. Pay up and I'll keep it mum.

Anonymous said...

why don't youi both just get nekkid?

Foot Eater said...

I agree, FS. Immediate sanctions should be imposed on the flat bastards forthwith.

Fat Sparrow said...

Haden -- You know, The Swearing Lady is a proper lady. You have to at least introduce yourself. She's not a tramp like me, you know.

Footie -- I'm wondering if they're tasty or not. I love sashimi and sushi in general, but not octopus or squid. They're like fish-flavored rubber. You chew and chew and chew, and then you just go, "Oh, fuck it" and spit it out into your napkin. Anyway, I figure, why not eat your enemies, especially if they're tasty.

Philip said...

How dare you suggest sanctions against the brave Captain Troy Tempest and his crew of Wet Appreciably Stringed Puppets (WASP)?

You'll be agitating for a purge of the Tracy family next. Just because they never impaled any Australian television presenters, that doesn't mean they're completely irredeemable.

Belinda Cockbox said...

hmmmm
i fucked a stingray and it never dun me any harm steve wasnt a real man.

Belinda Cockbox said...

id still fuck his family though

Foot Eater said...

I had a delicious little octopus in Venice a few weekends ago. 'Help, help,' he seemed to pipe up in a tiny voice as, his tentacles flailing, I popped him into my mouth.

Fat Sparrow said...

Philip -- I wasn't suggesting sanctions. Blame it all on Footie. I was just going to munch on them. I'll bet they're good deep-fried. No strings, though; I've got my own floss.

Belinda -- I'm not surprised. So that's why the stingrays have been washing up dead on the beaches -- suicide. You bad, bad girl, you.

Footie -- You're as sick as those Koreans, they munch on them live, too. Tentacles and ink everywhere; oh the octopusianity!

I swear, Hannibal Lecter probably goes to you for cooking tips, doesn't he?