Right, I'll just start off by apologizing to everyone for my drunken posting, comments, etc., especially those of you that I e-mailed pictures of my butt-plug collection to. Er, unless you liked it, and then, well.... "Enjoy!" I guess.
The Spouse Sparrow has reminded me that friends do not let friends post drunk, so I am required to wake him to join in the drunken festivities, next time. The moment I woke up this afternoon, the smug bastard was already shaking his head, sucking his teeth at me, and generally making fun of me. My face has been beet-red pretty much all day long.
I have been informed that, as an American, I should not attempt to get pissed. I should leave the drinking to the professionals, which, apparently, is you Brits. I am properly chastised. Of course, that has not stopped me from having a hair of the dog that bit me this evening. Just the thing I needed for my headache. The Spouse Sparrow has also said that I am not supposed to say that I have been drinking, that way people will just think I'm nuts. I'm not sure how that's preferable, but there you have it, advice from the master.
I will, in the future, attempt to refrain from posting a bunch of weepy shite that makes all you men out there go "Jesus, her Aunt Flo's visiting," and the women say "Fuck me, is there no chocolate in her house? My mother-in-law is not that whiny!" As a side note, the painters were not in, but that's beside the point.
Thank you all for the tea and sympathy.