Next fucking Tuesday.
That's when my doctor can manage to see me. Never mind that I have a fever that's been spiking to 103 degrees, or that the antibiotics didn't work. The bastards actually allowed three of the medical practice's five doctors to go on vacation at the same time.
This was how my phone conversation went....
Front desk: "Hello, Pain-in-the-arse Medical Group. How may I help you?"
Me: "Yes, could I have the appointment desk, please?"
Front desk: "One moment." (transfers me to hold for 10 minutes)
Receptionist: "Appointment desk. How may I help you?"
Me: "Hi, I'd like to make an appointment with Dr. Soandso at the local office."
Receptionist: (receptionist asks my name, date of birth, etc.) "And what will you need to be seen for?"
Me: "Well, I was in two weeks ago for a sinus infection, and Dr. Soandso put me on antibiotics for a sinus infection, and I finished the antibiotics, but my fever came back, and the sinus infection's still there."
Receptionist: "All right, we have an opening at the local office with Dr. Soandso on November 14, at 2:20 P.M."
Me: "Um, do you have anything at the local office with another doctor? My fever's been kinda bad."
Receptionist: "No, I'm afraid we don't. We have three doctors out on vacation right now."
Me: (muttering) "What kind of mong do you have running your scheduling office? You only have 5 doctors at the local office as it is."
Receptionist: "I'm sorry?"
Me: "Never mind. Look, is there anyway you can squeeze me in? It would be a ten minute appointment, max. I only need a prescription."
Receptionist: "No, but we do have two walk-in clinics."
Me: "Yeah, I know, but they're each 12 miles away from me, in opposite directions. Not exactly walking distance, as I don't have a car."
Receptionist: "Could you take the bus?"
Me: "No, I have a 103 fever and migraines and I have a constant stream of snot running from my nose. I would have to take 3 buses to get to either of the clinics, and that would take well over two hours."
Me: "So, November 14, you say?"
Receptionist: "Yes, that's right. Would you like that appointment date?"
Me: "I guess I would."
Let's hope I haven't carked it by then. I spent all day conked out on migraine medication, as it is migraine week. And did I mention the temperature's back up to 82? With the Santa Ana winds again? Fucking weather. At least the Spouse Sparrow hadn't sealed the swamp cooler up for the season yet, so we had air conditioning.
We're back down into single digit humidity levels. Do you know how dry 9% humidity is? I'll tell you. It's so dry that I can blow my nose on a tissue until that tissue is dripping wet, and then I can set that tissue aside, and 3 minutes later, that tissue is completely dry enough for me to use it to blow my nose again. That's how dry it is.
Quit cringing. It's recycling. Recycling is good.
Oh, and we had a fire up the road from us. A small one, but we're paranoid enough about fire here, especially during the windy season, that the smell of smoke was enough to wake me up at the ungodly hour of 7 A.M. I leapt up out of bed and rushed outside to see what direction the smoke was coming from. We almost lost the house a couple of years ago from a fire, so better safe than sorry. Did I mention that it was the Spouse Sparrow that saved the house that time, with a garden hose, before the fire truck arrived? Yes, the Spouse Sparrow is quite the multi-talented stud muffin. I shudder to think what would have happened if we hadn't been home.
And speaking of doctors, while we're at it.... Why the fuck does the doctor's office send out notices urgently urging us all to come in and get our flu shots in October, when they won't even have the vaccines yet? Why? Is it just to irritate me, so that I can call in every week, asking if they've got them in yet? I believe it is. Every week I call, and every week they tell me to call next week. I imagine that one week I'll call, and they'll tell me that they're all out, I should have gotten one the week before.
And people wonder why Americans are so violent.