Monday, October 02, 2006

Teenagers are twats

The other day one of the Fledgling Sparrow's friends offered to take her to the movies, and they went to see "World Trade Center." I considered this to be a complete waste of time, as we all already knew the beginning, middle, and ending. Why pay $9.00 to see Nicolas Cage looking uglier than usual?

In her defense, she did offer "The Covenant" as an alternate choice. I told her to wise up. If I thought it was okay for her to watch a bunch of oversexed boys who think they are witches plot to kill people, she'd be allowed to surf MySpace. I don't think so.

She has to clear movies, TV, etc. through us, because we are strict. We're not fucking well raising a chavette, you know. Nowadays, movies that would have been rated "R" back when I was a kid get a PG-13 rating. Plus, the teenagers have gotten stupider. I had proof of this many years back, before I even had a teenager.

Many years ago, I was on my lunch break at my regular hide-out, a sushi place by my office. It was always fairly busy, but I was a regular, and I could get a huge, really good lunch for just slightly more than the price of a Big Mac meal. I could hide in my little corner, read a book, eat, drink green tea, and de-stress for an hour. They always had my table ready for me, and I never had to wait. One day, these two sales guys were sitting in the booth behind me, having a loud (well, not exactly loud, but have you ever met a quiet salesman?) conversation while they had their lunch. The main of it between the two of them went like this:

"Yeah, my weekend was shot to hell, what with working on the stats for the new account, and the wife dragging me off to see 'Titanic'."

"Really? You actually went to see that?"

"Well, you know, the wife wanted to. Doesn't matter what I want, you know."

"Yeah, I know how that one goes."

"Yeah, and we're in the theater, talking, you know, before the lights go down, about the how the movie's gonna compare to the real sinking of the Titanic, and how far off Cameron's gonna stray, and these two 13-year-old girls that are sitting in front of us turn around, glare at us, and say 'Thanks for ruining the ending for us!' "

"No, you've got to be shitting me!"

"Nope, they were serious. Didn't have a clue that it was based on an actual story. What the hell is wrong with kids these days?!"

Now, at about this point, I snorted green tea and wasabi out my nose, and then had to turn around and apologize for listening in on their conversation.

So, as you can see, teenagers are clearly twats. But at least my sinuses were clear for the rest of that day.

Fat Sparrow


Dr Maroon said...

It was built in Belfast.
Do the math.

when the tragedy happened, the Courier had the huge headline, "Dundee man lost at sea"
or so the story goes.

Fat Sparrow said...

Doc, all I can say is, I am not surprised.

Old Knudsen said...

Those White star fuckers said I left a door open which made it sink too fast.

Spouse Sparrow said...

My Mother was made in Belfast and she never went down.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

When i lived in Minnesota a news station did a survey about how many high school kids knew what they were celebrating on the 4th of July. 35% got it right.

More alarming, the next year, they asked the same question of a cross-section of ages at the parade on te 4th itself. 30% of people knew. Many thought it was something to do with the Alamo.

There are so many aspects of these two surveys that are crushingly depressing. 10:30am, is that to early to hit the hard stuff?

Fat Sparrow said...

Sam -- Welcome to America, home of the stupid.

Nah, 10:30 A.M. is fine. "It's five o'clock somewhere....."

Pam said...

When I went to see Titanic, one of my friends exclaimed loudly, when the iceberg appeared on screen, "Shit ! It's going to hit it !". The rest of us got up and sat somewhere else.

Fat Sparrow said...


Pam, I don't blame you one bit.