|You Were a Koala|
You value living life at a slow, peaceful, meditative pace.
You give insightful advice, helping others to overcome obstacles.
I fail to see what any of that has to do with a koala. Maybe it's some inscrutable, subtle, Australian thing. Anyhow, if you read it as "You are a slack bastard who never gets anything done. You tell other people how to live their lives, while doing nothing with your own," it pretty much sums me up, eerily enough.
Oh, and I pee on people when they pick me up.