Monday, August 16, 2010

I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again

As some of you may already know, we are moving to Northern Ireland.

We fly out of LAX on September 21. That's one of the reasons I haven't been around the blogosphere much. Immigration details, passports, plane tickets, customs forms... and a lot of dicking around on Facebook to kill the pain.

It's been a rough year. Hell, it's been a rough few years. And probably a few more ahead. My possessions, my daughter, my pets, my parents... all these will get left behind. You know things are bad when you have to go back to the Old Country for a new start.

The Fledgling's been in Uni now; she'll be starting her Sophomore year in just a few weeks. So she'll be staying here in the States while I, the Spouse Sparrow, and the Nestling go off to live in Norn Iron.

To say that I'm stressed out about it would be an understatement. It's like jumping out of a plane, and hoping someone catches up to you and gets a parachute on you before you hit the ground.

I know I should be thinking about all the things I have to look forward to, but all I can think about is the things I have lost, and am losing. We're not in a situation where I'll be flying back over to visit, or can afford to ship my things. Once we're there, that's it. I'll just have to hope that it all works out.

Some of you have been listening to my whingeing for a good long while now, sorry. And thank you. You've been my support system, my connection, a hand reaching out in the dark of night when I wake up in panic. Thank you.

I don't know how long it will be before we have an Internet connection over in Northern Ireland. We have to find jobs and things like that, so it may be awhile.

September 21, 2010.

35 days left. Fuck.

Fat Sparrow

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Pneumonia is pnot pnice

Just a quick update, which some of you already know from Facebook...

I may not be making the rounds quite as much, as the Nestling Sparrow has a fairly gnarly case of pneumonia, and we'll be going back in to the doctor's in the morning, as it's not clearing up. My nerves are shot. They did an IV drip on the Nestling right in the doctor's office this last Friday. It took seven tries before the doctor got a vein, and then an antibiotic injection on top of that, along with some anti-nausea/anti-vomiting medication. He's having a hard time keeping down food, and with that, his oral antibiotics.

I was really expecting the Nestling to be doing a lot better by now. Damn.


Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Conversations With The Spouse Sparrow, Part 2

Go here for "Conversations With the Spouse Sparrow, Part 1"

Me: (apropos of nothing) "Did you know that Peter Murphy became a Muslim?"

Spouse Sparrow: "Peter who?"

Me: "Peter Murphy."

Spouse Sparrow: "Not ringing a bell."

Me: "You know, Peter Murphy: Bauhaus, 'Bela Lugosi's Dead', 'She's In Parties'? That Peter Murphy.

Spouse Sparrow: "Never heard of him."

Me: (slightly irritated now) "Peter fucking Murphy, for fuck's sake, the Godfather of Goth! That Peter Murphy, you know?!"

Spouse Sparrow: (blank look on face)

Me: "Jesus, he even went on to a solo career, you know, 'Cuts You Up', 'A Strange Kind of Love'?"

Spouse Sparrow: (blank look on face gets blanker)

Me: "Are you taking the piss? PETER MURPHY. P-E-T-E-R M-U-R-P-H-Y. Christ!"

Spouse Sparrow: (blank look on face has now turned to belligerent look)

Me: "Look, have you seen 'The Hunger'?"

Spouse Sparrow: (brightens up) "That's the one with werewolves, right?"

Me: "No, doof, it's the one about vampires, with David Bowie and Catherine Deneuve."

Spouse Sparrow: "No. David Bowie movies are shite."

Me: "Awwww, I liked 'Labyrinth'. And while 'SpongeBob: Atlantis Squarepantis' was not his finest hour, 'Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence' didn't suck. I liked the music."

Spouse Sparrow: "No, you have to say it 'Mewwy Cwisamas, Missah Lawance!"

Me: (shakes head in disbelief) "So, anyway, Bauhaus, of which Peter Murphy was the lead singer, was in a scene of 'The Hunger'. You really haven't seen it?"

Spouse Sparrow: "No, guess not. What does he look like?"

Me: "He was in the original ad for the Maxell tapes. Not the ones here in America, but the British ones. People paid good money to import them, here, because it was... well, an import. All the cool kids had them as posters."

Spouse Sparrow: "Don't know it."

Me: "Yes, you do. It's the guy sitting in an armchair, in profile, in front of a speaker, getting blown back by the music that supposedly coming out of it."

Spouse Sparrow: "No, haven't seen it. So, what does this Peter git look like, anyway?"

Me: "You know, spiky short blond hair, kind of like Budgie from Siouxsie."

Spouse Sparrow: "Like I know what Budgie looks like? I don't listen to pop music."

Me: (thoroughly irritated by this point) "IT'S NOT FUCKING POP MUSIC, YOU STUPID CUNT! Besides, you do listen to pop music, you know you do."

Spouse Sparrow: (smugly) "Oh, really? Well, Siouxsie was on 'Top of the Pops', and if it's not pop music, why would they have it on there?"

Me: "It's alternative, you ignorant fuckwit! I don't care what they call it over there, it's NOT pop music! Besides, if you don't listen to pop music, what the fuck are you doing watching a show called 'Top of the Pops'?!"

Spouse Sparrow: "Watching 'alternative music', according to you. It's probably one of those cuntybaw things that John Peel droned on about, wasn't it?"

Me: (completely exasperated) "For fuck's sake, how is it that you can know all the lyrics to every single Spice Girls song there is, and you've never even heard of Peter fucking Murphy, or Bauhaus?"

Spouse Sparrow: (immediately starts singing and dancing) "If you wanna be my lover, gotta get with my friends...."

Me: "I have no idea how we ended up married. How the fuck are we married?"

Spouse Sparrow: "I ask myself that all the time. It seems you couldn't resist my huge cock."

Me: "Aaaarrgghhh, you always bring that up!"

Spouse Sparrow: "That's what yer ma said."


Spouse Sparrow: (eating some kind of nasty, dehydrated banana chips) "These banana chips are really good, but I worry about where it says 'Oh My God' on the back of the package."

Me: "What? Where does it say that?"

Spouse Sparrow: (pointing to back of bag) "Right here.... Cholesterol: Oh My God, Sodium: Oh My God."

Me: (grabbing bag) "That's 0 MG: Zero Milli Grams, you twat."

Spouse Sparrow: "Well, I guess that would make more sense then, wouldn't it?"


Me: "You know, Squidward on 'SpongeBob SquarePants' is supposed to be a squid or an octopus or something, but he only has six tentacles. Where are his other tentacles?"

Spouse Sparrow: "Maybe he has undescended tentacles."

Me: (rolls eyes)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Did someone say they had VD?

A bit of advice: If you are a 40-year-old woman going through early menopause and also ovulating, it is not a good idea to try and sort through your children's old baby clothes. It is an even worse idea to do so in preparation to sell said baby clothes, thus permanently parting from these precious, treasured memories of your child's babyhood. Mind you, they were hidden away in the garage and then in the storage unit, but they were there, they were MINE!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go berate my children, fight with my husband, find, slaughter, and eat some red meat, gorge on chocolate, and waste time on Facebook.

Oh, and list those baby clothes for sale.

Happy Valentine's Day.


Fat Sparrow