Friday, August 07, 2009

At least I was already awake for this one

Fuck I hate earthquakes. My house is already complete chaos, since we're getting ready to move, but my nerves have been shot and since I was up with a migraine I did not need an earthquake on top of it. Funny, now that the earthquake's over, my migraine has improved slightly...

Of course, it is brilliant to be able to go here the second after I climb out of the doorway to be able to find where it was. Gotta love teh interwebs.

Fat Sparrow


Dr Maroon said...

Aha! so you HAVE been away. I thought so. How's your ass for lovebites? Never mind that, give us a drink before I expire. I'm as dry as a stick.

Fat Sparrow said...

:::hands Doc a water:::

Sorry Doc; you're on a dry blog now. The Spouse Sparrow went on the wagon right after The Broccoli Incident, and I gave it up in solidarity.

My ass, however, still has plenty of room for love bites.

Anonymous said...

don't you just love it when mother nature decides she doesn't like the way you've arranged your furniture?

or when she decides to rearrange her own furniture?

at least the possibility of an earthquake wasn't all that of a foreign idea to you. at least, i think. don't you live near an earthquake zone? cause if not HOLY POO ON TOAST!!! (sorry, couldn't resist using a quote from a teen movie.)

Fat Sparrow said...

This one wasn't a mover, just a shaker.

Yeah, I'm a native Southern Californian, so theoretically I should be used to them. I used to think they were great fun when I was a kid and teenager, 'til I had a kid myself and had to worry about all that. Landers and Northridge (a couple of really big earthquakes) well freaked me out, and nowadays with my nerves, if a squirrel farts I'm reaching for the Valium.

I'm beginning to understand the reasoning of my more backward relatives; at least with a tornado or hurricane you have a little bit of warning that it's coming.

Anonymous said...

warning that a tornado is coming? in rural mississippi? we're lucky if we get advanced notice of a thunderstorm, much less a tornado. after the straight-line winds incident of 2001, we're as jumpy as you with the squirrels and vicodin.

they're trying with the advanced warning systems, but since this part of the country is really rural, we depend on local tv, and those dudes couldn't predict a thunderstorm if lightning hit them in the ass.

and since all the local channels have gone digital, unless you have the digital converter box, you're literally poo on toast if a tornado does hit.

p.s. my verification code is funny is that? mississippi is notorious for pork farms.

Manuel said...

The Cousin fell out of bed the other day......I imagine that's what an earthquake is like

Anonymous said...

manuel!! mean!! funny, but mean, lol.

did the cousin utter any of the following phrases?

1. well shit!!
2. i've fallen and i've crushed a small animal!
3. i'm O-KAY!!
4. no need to worry about aftershocks, folks. it was just me.

*just having a little joke. no need to offend anyone. especially since i'm not exactly kate moss myself.*

Fat Sparrow said...

PD -- I was thinking of my Okie farmer relatives, they all got Walkmans when they came out in the 80's just so they could hear the tornado warnings while they were out in the fields.

Manuel -- Really, have you looked into that homeless shelter.

PD -- It's all right, he takes the piss out of The Cousin online all the time. And to his face.

I'm twice the woman Kate Moss is, myself.

laughykate said...

Generally I'm okay with earthquakes up to a point, and when I get to that point I yell out stuff like, 'OKAY YOU CAN STOP NOW!'


But I do remember one earthquake - I was staying at my parents - it was a decent one that cracked people's swimming pools and the like a few hundred ks away.

I was at the oven, felt the roll of the earth beneath me, switched the oven off at the wall and took off to the large expanse of the lawn. Out there I gloated to my mother about how safety conscious I had been. She also gloated back to me - she had been ironing and had put the iron flat on the floor before heading outside.

The earthquake finished and we took our smug earthquake-safety-conscious selves back inside.

To discover that my mother had done exactly as she had said.

Except for one thing - she had forgotten to switch the iron off at the wall.

Fat Sparrow said...

Well, if the earthquake had been any worse, that would have been the least of her worries!

I will not miss the earthquakes. In fact, there's so many things I won't miss about this shit hole, I should make a list, that way when I start whinging about Norn Iron when I'm over there, I can refer to said list.

Donn said...

I do not prefer the randomness of Earthquakes.

Up here we get Blizzards but we usually know about them for days in advance so you run out to the Grocery, Liquor and Video Stores, jump into your sweats, and hunker down for a few days...whatev!

Ha! I just remembered that I watched Earthquake with Charlton Heston a week ago..when it came out the theatres hooked-up bigass JBLs to give it some realism. Of course back then you could still smoke reefers and drink the brewskis that you snuck in so it might have been cool.

Fat Sparrow said...

Donn -- I've got my 9 and the liquor store's just yards away, so I'm all ready for after the Big One.

In my neck of the woods you can still sneak your 40 and your blunt into the theater. Considering the so-called "quality" of movies coming out these days, I imagine it would definitely enhance the viewing experience.

savannah said...

i do not miss earthquakes, sugar! xoox