I have been trying for ages to get the ride off Philip, and finally, he has at least fingered me. I am encouraged at this sign of foreplay, but also disturbed, as it seems he is in to the really perverted stuff: Memes.
Now, quit gasping in horror. Some people just consider them "kinky."
Either way, I get to do it 8 times, and here it goes....
1) I never heard the word "fuck" until I was 12 years old, and I had no idea what it meant. I dare say I've made up for that. And to think, people say that kids don't learn anything in public schools.
2) I was a child prodigy, and I learned to read at 9 months, and could read a newspaper by the time I was 18 months old. I have done fuck all since then.
3) My pinkie fingers on my hands are abnormally short. When I was a child, my mother had to sew up the pinkie fingers in all my gloves because of this. You would think that this would have clued her in to the fact that piano lessons were not for me, but oh no, it did not.
4) I have nipples like JCB starter buttons, and I like anal sex. Those two things may be completely unrelated.
5) In my youth, I memorized the New Testament, which was a complete waste of time. I did win a prize, although I can't remember what it was. Anyway, the important thing was: I won!
6) When I first started driving, I came upon the scene of an accident on the freeway. Traffic had slowed to a stop. For 5 minutes, I looked out my car window at a severed head. I couldn't have gotten out of my car without kicking the head out of the way. I can still see that head, in my memory. It had a rather shocked expression on its face.
7) When I was a child, I read unabridged dictionaries and encyclopedias for fun.
8) My dentist tells me that my mouth is too small and my tongue is too big. I'm beginning to wonder what he has in mind by telling me all this.
People I am fingering: First Nations, Fumie, Devin, Annie, Sassy, Gimme A Minute, and Old Knudsen. I know Old Knudsen won't do it, but I just like to finger him. Oh, and let's toss Eddie in too, as I suspect he secretly wants a three-way with me and Footie, who has also tagged him.