Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Happy Fourth of July!

I've had a valium, and am feeling a tad mellower.

I ran across a quote that I liked, from Erma Bombeck:

"You have to love a nation that celecbrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism."

I'm off to be patriotic fat fucker. If I don't eat, the terrorists have won.

Fat Sparrow

15 comments:

Lord Milky said...

Enjoy the company mentioned in the post below. Sounds great!

Medbh said...

Pie and ice cream, too?
I used to love a fresh cherry or apple pie with vanilla ice cream when I was a kid.
But the valium sounds tasty as well.
Cheers, Fat Sparrow!

Fat Sparrow said...

Lord Milky -- "Enjoy the company mentioned in the post below. Sounds great!"

Oh yeah. Good times. I'm sure many, mnay years from now, I can look back on all this and laugh.

That's after I've been through years of therapy, mind you.

Medbh -- I'm currently washing down the valium with some plonk. Fuck my kidneys. I'm stalling going out there 'til the very last minute, and I plan on being slightly blootered, if such a thing is possible.

gimme a minute said...

Slightly Blootered. Friend of Fort Coats? Go for it, Fat Sparrow, eat and drink for your country's good!

gimme a minute said...

Aaargh. Meant Forty Coats. May still, of course, lack any meaning to you.

Eddie Waring said...

Happy 4th.

I'm off to a friends house to celebrate the day off work and to get drunk and belligerent.

Hope the family were tolerable for ya!

Fat Sparrow said...

Gimme -- I am at a complete loss. I'd ask the Spouse Sparrow, but he and I are not on speaking terms at the moment. That's mainly due to him being passed out dead drunk (before 9 P.M., even), but it will probably carry on for a few days when he wakes up and sees the "I SUCK" that I wrote in permanent marker on his forehead. So I think I may have better luck getting an explanation out of you.

Oh, and I'll be getting a link up to you soon, I promise.

Eddie -- Thanks. The family was tolerable, surprisingly. The Spouse Sparrow, on the other hand.... Well, you read my previous comment.

Xul said...

No better way to stick it to the terrorists than gorging yourself on fine pork products and blowing stuff up. Cheers!

Fearfink said...

Valium truly rocks and solves many many a problem. Glad you survived.

I think you should possibly add "cock" to Spouse Sparrow's forehead and draw an arrow to his mouth. Why do they confuse "support my spouse" with "get horribly drunk and pass out" ? These concepts are particularly similar are they ?!

Conan Drumm said...

I hope you wrote it backwards, like kcuS I (except with the letters backwards as well), cos otherwise he won't be able to read it, the dipso. However, the valium/vino combo may have disabled your backwards writing synapse.

gimme a minute said...

This is Forty Coats.

He had a sidekick called Slightly Bonkers. An irritating bitch, as it happens.

Sassy Sundry said...

It wound up cold and rainy here. The flies drowned. Still, it was a gas. Hope you had fun.

Fat Sparrow said...

Xul -- "No better way to stick it to the terrorists than gorging yourself on fine pork products and blowing stuff up. Cheers!"

Oh, I did my part to defeat the terrorists, let me assure you.

Fearfink -- "Valium truly rocks and solves many many a problem. Glad you survived."

It is fucking brilliant, isn't it?

"I think you should possibly add "cock" to Spouse Sparrow's forehead and draw an arrow to his mouth. Why do they confuse "support my spouse" with "get horribly drunk and pass out" ? These concepts are particularly similar are they ?!"

Strangely enough, the drunker he got the more sympathy I got from my family, so now I just have to decide who I would rather be more irked at, my family or the Spouse Sparrow. I'm still pissed at him for getting pissed, mind you.

Conan -- "However, the valium/vino combo may have disabled your backwards writing synapse."

Nah, just barely takes the edge off. My "Potential Rampage Alert" goes from "Red" to "Orange."

Gimme -- Damn, I'm on dial-up. I'd be here all night waiting for that to load, and the computer would then crash. Thanks for trying, though.

Sassy -- I'm glad you had fun. You do deserve it, you know.

The Hangar Queen said...

Jaysus.....isn't Spouse Sparrow running about 8 days early?

Fat Sparrow said...

Devin -- Let's just hope he's not carrying on for the intervening 6 days that are left.