Sunday, June 24, 2007

My new Internet campaign: Free NiolK's balls!

After a lot of harassment,* NiolK recently posted a picture of his balls, and I have seen hostages in the Middle East that have looked happier than his balls do. The way he has kept them trapped and caged is simply appalling. Just think how his poor testicles must feel, never being able to run free and let their true beauty shine out to the world. Old Knudsen has speculated that NiolK has even been keeping his balls trapped in cycle shorts!


As you can see, he has not even fully freed them to take this picture. God only knows where his poor willy has gone to....


Please join with me in my new Internet e-mail campaign, Free NiolK's Balls! Here at Campaign Headquarters for Free NiolK's Balls!, we are demanding that NiolK free his balls, and to prove that he has freed them we are also demanding that he post a full-frontal nude picture (face included) so that we can be sure that NiolK's balls have been freed. At this point in the campaign, it may be too much to hope for that one day we might see NiolK's balls freed at parks, shopping malls, and even workplaces, but we can have hope for the future when NiolK's balls will be free everywhere, all the time. Please go to visit NiolK right now, and let him know that we will not give up until our demands have been met.

Additionally, Free NiolK's Balls! is demanding that NiolK come up with some badges** for Free NiolK's Balls!, as we here at Campaign Headquarters do not have PhotoShop or any type of graphics programs. Thank you.

Fat Sparrow


* Not really. It only took two comments on one of his posts.
** He came up with a badge for those of us who are Banned by NiolK!, so we know he can do it. You can see the "Banned" badge in my sidebar, just keep scrolling down.

19 comments:

Old Knudsen said...

Look in Paddy O'Furniture's arse and you'll find Nokia's balls. I have posted my support so expect him to cave in soon.

Manuel said...

Ahhhhhhhhhh. Christ that's something I expect to see at Fat Mammy Cat, not here.

Got to be said, they are a terrible colour.

savannah said...

sweetjeaus! bless his heart..that looks painful



(thanks for adding me to your list, sugar)

First Nations said...

Now you see, this is where the power of positive mental vibes theory breaks down totally. I was really hoping to NOT see any shaved ballsack when I came here today and dammit look what happened.
I guess I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Bitchin. Now I have to worry about surviving a hurricane for the rest of the day.
DAMN these negative thoughts!

Lord Milky said...

Shaven at least. Still not what I wanted to see whilst easting my breakfast.

NiolK said...

Alright,

A.) My balls are a perfectly healthy flesh colour. They were in shade when I took the pic which is why they look purple.

B.)I'm looking into whether or not I can sue you for showing my nads without my prior approval.

C.)I don't flash my meat unless it's gonna be entering some female orifii thereafter.

D.) You can get a very good photo editor for free called The Gimp. Seriously.

Fat Sparrow said...

Old Knudsen -- "I have posted my support so expect him to cave in soon."

I'll expect you to stay on him (snarf).

Manuel -- "Ahhhhhhhhhh. Christ that's something I expect to see at Fat Mammy Cat, not here."

I like to mix it up, now and then. Don't think I'll be doing it all that often, as putting pictures up was a major pain in the minge.

"Got to be said, they are a terrible colour."

Shocking, isn't it, the treatment he's given them. They're a terrible colour because he's kept them trapped, hence my campaign.

Savannah -- "sweetjeaus! bless his heart..that looks painful"

Kinda reminds you of that "franks or beans" scene in "Something About Mary," doesn't it?

"(thanks for adding me to your list, sugar)"

No probs. I figured I had better pull my thumb out and get busy, as I had not updated my links in months and months. It is a lot easier adding people now that I have the Layouts on Blogger.

FN -- "I was really hoping to NOT see any shaved ballsack when I came here today and dammit look what happened."

I know your Secret. You obviously had a subconscious desire to see shaved balls, and I subconsciously picked up on it. Subconsciously, NiolK will be suing you too, because subconsciously, it's all your fault.

Lord Milky -- "Shaven at least. Still not what I wanted to see whilst easting my breakfast."

I heard that NiolK's balls were the breakfast of champions.

Evil Oppressor, aka NiolK -- "A.) My balls are a perfectly healthy flesh colour. They were in shade when I took the pic which is why they look purple."

Set them free!

"B.)I'm looking into whether or not I can sue you for showing my nads without my prior approval."

Oh, oh, please sue me! I want to be in the cortroom when you have to whip them out to prove that they're yours!

"C.)I don't flash my meat unless it's gonna be entering some female orifii thereafter."

So? Find a female orifice, and get her to take a pic.

"D.) You can get a very good photo editor for free called The Gimp. Seriously."

Does this mean that you're not doing it for me?

Spacecake said...

I'm not sure if anyone said this already 'cause I'm too tired to read all the previous comments for various reasons. Anyway, I believe that his willy is not seen because he's holding it in his hand? At least that LOOKS like his hand.

I should know, I've seen his hand once. :F!

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Breakfast of champignons more like - they look like a toadstool from that angle. Just need a spot of VD to bring out some nice white spots. Who knows, there might be a little elf living underneath them.

whyioughtta said...

I honestly thought that was a picture of interstellar space when I first saw it. It has an andromeda-like presence to it.

whyioughtta said...

I choda known better...(mmmph...mmmphaha ...mmmhahaha).

Mermaid of Moorgate said...

"D.) You can get a very good photo editor for free called The Gimp. Seriously."

It looks like this picture had been The Gimp's handiwork. Were they constricted by a rubber band, peut-etre?

I am only glad that he confirmed they were, in fact, his gonads - at first I thought that a small kitten was struggling to free itself from Niolk's speedos.

Fat Sparrow said...

"Spacecake -- "Anyway, I believe that his willy is not seen because he's holding it in his hand?"

Exactly. He is oppressing it, if you know what I mean.

Fat Sparrow said...

Sam -- "Breakfast of champignons more like - they look like a toadstool from that angle."

Have I told you lately how funny and brilliant you are? I'm sure it's been at least a month.

Fat Sparrow said...

"Whyioughtta -- "I honestly thought that was a picture of interstellar space when I first saw it. It has an andromeda-like presence to it."

Mesmerizing, isn't it?

"I choda known better..."

You are a very bad girl, but funny.

Fat Sparrow said...

Mermaid -- "at first I thought that a small kitten was struggling to free itself from Niolk's speedos"

I wouldn't be surprised. If he treats his 'nads that way, imagine what he'd do to a kitten.

Conan Drumm said...

Get on to Monsieur Sting - he's in the money earning business with his old band again - and ask him if you can use the "Free, free... set them free" lyric for your campaign.

That Niolk, he's a testicular chancer.

Fat Sparrow said...

Conan -- Excellent idea; I had completely forgotten about the campaign song. We wouldn't want to end up with something crappy by Celine Dion, like Hillary Clinton did.

"That Niolk, he's a testicular chancer."

Congratulations, that one got a laugh from me even at 4:45 in the morning.

OnlinePharmacy said...
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