Thursday, May 31, 2007

Now that is funny

And you thought you had a bad day....

"Figgis Detained After 'Shoot a Pilot' Comment

From AOL News

(May 29) -- There are certain things one should probably refrain from saying at an airport, and director Mike Figgis unfortunately learned the hard way.

Figgis, who directed "Leaving Las Vegas," was reportedly held for over five hours at Los Angeles International airport after he told immigration officers "I'm here to shoot a pilot,"
according to The Guardian. In television, the first episode of a potential television show is called a pilot. However, the agents, apparently not in-the-know with industry terms, took it to mean Figgis had plans to gun down an airline pilot.

Figgis was then held in an interrogation cell for five hours, and was released after officers figured out he had no assassination plans. "


Conortje said...

That's hilarious - I hope it's true!

savannah said...

impossible! everyone knows what a "pilot" is out in la...sugar, everyone has a script for either a pilot or a movie or is in the processing of writing one..or a treatment for one of the other! that's wat people do, everything else "just pays the bills until they get optioned"


ps. i have a treatment that deals with JUST this very same agent is shopping it now

Ali said...

Fekking brilliant!

Kav said...

Excellent. Good man Mike. If it isn't true, it ought to be.

Conan Drumm said...

Too good to be true. Mind you, Figgis is a Geordie so even if he'd said "I'm here at the Governor's invitation" it would have sounded threatening.

Old Knudsen said...

I was at Heathrow and I must of looked suspicious as I was grabbed by the peelers (insert funny comment here) they asked me what my business was and I said I was going to have bumsex with the stewardesses, I was detained for 3 hours before they let the stewardesses take me back to their hotel room, I may sue.

Sassy Sundry said...


Foot Eater said...

I was once arrested for soliciting by an undercover cop in a bar after I mentioned I was going outside to smoke a fag.

Anonymous said...

i wonder if the agents thought they were utter dumbasses after this incident.

Manuel said...

makes you wonder what they think when the pilot says hes off to the cockpit.

Eddie Waring said...

Figgis is a funny name. James Bolam's character in Only When I Laugh was called Roy Figgis.

Yanks won't know what the fuck I'm talking about which makes it even funnier.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Hee tee

Annie Rhiannon said...

I just can't believe this actually happened. But it said it in The Guardian AND FS-blog so it must be true.

fatmammycat said...

Ah snarf to the hella max. he was velly lucky he wasn't swink lopped.

Bock the Robber said...

Suppose he said, I'm here to fuck a pilot.

Fat Sparrow said...

Conortje -- "That's hilarious - I hope it's true!"

It was on AOL News Service; that's how I found it.

Savannah -- "impossible! everyone knows what a "pilot" is out in la"

I have a suspicion that Homeland Security might not be the brightest crayons in the box.

Ali -- "Fekking brilliant!"


Kav -- "If it isn't true, it ought to be."

Old Knudsen may pull stuff out of his ass, but I just find shit on the Net.

Conan -- "Too good to be true."

It is a class line, isn't it? I suppose no one's used it before because of the full-body cavity search. Kinda kills the punch line, I imagine.

Old Knudsen -- Be glad you didn't get the bum sex from Homeland Security.

Sassy -- That pretty much sums it up. It's not like you can call a do-over after something like that.

Footie -- "I was once arrested for soliciting by an undercover cop in a bar after I mentioned I was going outside to smoke a fag."

Yes, but did you have a cigarette after you smoked the fag?

PD -- "i wonder if the agents thought they were utter dumbasses after this incident."

I do not believe that Homeland Security officers are required to be able to think.

Manuel -- "makes you wonder what they think when the pilot says hes off to the cockpit."

I'll have to check with Devin on that one.

Eddie -- "Yanks won't know what the fuck I'm talking about which makes it even funnier."

Oh, go on, act all superior and British.

Sam -- Yep.

Annie -- "I just can't believe this actually happened."

It sounds like part of a comedy bit, doesn't it?

FMC -- "he was velly lucky he wasn't swink lopped."

He was probably mainly in danger from the rest of the passengers, for holding up the customs line.

Bock -- "Suppose he said, I'm here to fuck a pilot."

I wonder if there's a sign-in sheet for the Mile High Club?

First Nations said...

what if he'd said 'i'm here to circumcise a pilot'? huh? huh?

*wanders off reeking of laquer fumes*

whyioughtta said...

Obviously the Homeland Securitybot model 4651 needs a linguistic upgrade.

(...sorry, that's the best I could do...I spent about 5 minutes trying to work up something with them dragging him off after he begs them not to confiscate his lip balm, but...*fizzle*. This hangover's more serious than I thought. Friday night weddings will be the death of me.)

Old Knudsen said...

What if you go into a herb shop and say,"I'm here to kill some thyme?"

Around My Kitchen Table said...

I know Old Knudsen with the salty semen is a pal of yours but, like most men, he seems to inhabit some fantasy world full of nubile air hostesses (very un-PC term, tell him. They are now, I don't know, In-Air Mobile Vehicle Operatives or something)who want to take him back to their hotel room for unspeakable practices. Far from wanting wild sex, they're probably missing their grandfathers and want someone to hawk and spit in the corner and fall asleep while watching TV to remind them of home.

Fat Sparrow said...

FN -- That's some high-quality laquer you have there.

Whyioughtta -- Easy there, girl, don't hurt yourself. Get your husband to hold your hair, hork it up, and have an aspirin.

Old Knudsen -- Easy there, boy, don't hurt yourself....

AMKT -- Don't worry; Old Knudsen's not sexist, he's just oversexed. He's an equal-opportunity shagger. His chat-up line for the male flight attendants is "You've got a purty mouth." Oh, and don't let him near the pet carriers in the hold.

That's all I'm saying.

rob said...

Sadly, not true. Figgis says a comment of his was taken out of context. You can lok for corroboration yourself, you fuckers, I am at work.

Fat Sparrow said...

Oh, man! I guess it was too good to be true.

Of course, I'll have to take your word for it, as I can't be arsed looking it up either.

Eyebee said...

I have an incredibly itchy asshole now. I think it is this blog, and I am holding your bog responsible

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