Friday, April 06, 2007

Iran: Cunts, or just twats?

What the fuck is up with those crazy Iranians?

"Hmmm, I think we'll kidnap some British military personnel, and then pretend like they're at the Oscars and give them gift bags."

You must have some serious shit in your hookah for that to sound like a good idea. Really, gift bags? They'll just have to declare them and pay taxes on them now, you know. Yet another example of Iran spreading its hairy, crusty buttocks and farting out "FUCK YOU" to Britain. And don't think I didn't get the innuendo behind those bags they gave them. "Carpetbaggers," indeed. I'd check those bags for bugs. No, I don't mean listening devices, I mean insects. You know what Third World countries are like.

I really liked how all the men got suits, but they dressed the woman up like a color-blind Russian sailor. What, no burqas in her size? She didn't look that big 'til I saw her in the video clip standing next to your man Mahmoud, and then I wondered, "Damn, why is she not just kicking his shit in? Sure, she'd get taken down by his bodyguards right away, but that would really make for great TV."

The newly released military personnel got back to Britain okay, and I'm eagerly awaiting the press conference in which one of them recants everything they said on Iranian TV, and says: "The Persians were a lot more valid when they were worshipping fire and chucking their dead to the vultures. Now that they're Muslim, they're a collection of cunts."

Fat Sparrow


Kav said...

They're the worst kind of cunts: delusional cunts. That whole sorry episode was like watching children, thinking they're being all devious and cunning, but actually as transparent as my underwear*.

*I'll tell you some other time.

whyioughtta said...

I think of cunts as mean but twats as stupid.

There's an answer in there somewhere.

iLL Man said...

It did strike me that way too Kav.

"Give them back now..."


"I'm counting to ten..."

Still, PM and his gang made to look a bit of an arse for a few days which can't be a bad thing. Iranians playing the pantomime baddies on this one, whilst fooling nobody here, plays pretty well in the middle east.

Old Knudsen said...

This is all a bit harsh, we should be more understanding of the ways of other cultures and not condemn them for their customs or religion.

We should also put non Protestants to the sword but thats God's will.

Eddie Waring said...

We should accidentally "trespass" in their waters with one of our nuclear submarines, accidentally firing a fuckin' missile at the same time.
That would show them.

First Nations said...

egad, madam, are you in touch with the aether? that is PRECISELY what happened!

Fat Sparrow said...

Kav -- Those sailors are kids. Jesus, I feel old.

Whyioughtta -- I guess Mahmoud qualifies as both, then.

Ill Man -- It played pretty well in Iran, I suppose. Let's hope they don't make it into a movie here.

Old Knudsen -- Quit trying to give your sword to everybody.

Eddie -- That sounds like a reasonable plan to me, other than that it needs to be done repeatedly.

FN -- I've laid off the ether. It's just Valium now.

Anonymous said...

why are you so foulmouthed? its time to grow up.

Fat Sparrow said...

Go fuck yourself, Anonym-ass. If you don't like the language, get the hell off my blog.