Thursday, April 19, 2007

Annoyyou.com

The other day I received an e-mail from a start-up company. I thought I'd share it with you, along with my response. The name of the company has been changed, as I don't want to encourage them by giving them publicity. I have left their e-mail "as is," so don't even go there with "There are spelling/punctuation/grammatical errors!"....



In a message dated 4/4/2007 12:04:41 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time, peter@annoyyou.com writes:

Hi Fat Sparrow,

From what I read, your blog seems to cover a lot of interesting topics around your original and personal vision on everyday's life . Your blog is quite visible (I found you in the first results of Technorati), so I guess you must receive loads of messages.

We are just a small tech startup running a beta test for a new widget for blogs.
As the topic of your blog fits pretty well with the type of high end blog we are looking for, it would be very interesting if you could join our AnnoyYou Roll beta test.

What's all about? AnnoyYou is the blog roll of your readers. It’s a widget that displays links to blogs your readers are visiting the most often.

How does it work? We trace the number of visits of each unique reader on each blog that has installed AnnoyYou Roll. The more often a reader visits a specific blog, the greater his affinity is with this blog.

What are the benefits for you? First of all, you will provide your readers with a very entertaining blog roll, based on other readers with similar reading habits. Moreover, you will get highly qualified incoming traffic for your blog. Indeed, as other similar blogs display your blog on their AnnoyYou Roll, they will feed you with new readers with a strong affinity with your blog.

It takes 1 minute to install: http://widget.annoyyou.com/

I would be really interested in your personal feedback on this widget.
Thanks for your help.
Regards,


Peter
Project Manager AnnoyYou


http://www.annoyyou.com/

http://blog.annoyyou.com/

PS: I apologize in advance to be another guy sending you an email! I am NOT here to sell you anything whatsoever.By the way, I guess I hate those stupid spams as much as you.


My response....


Dear Peter --

Thank you for your kind and flattering remarks. It is a difficult business sending out e-mails to strangers, is it not? Therefore, let us pretend we are dogs; you have sniffed my backside, and now I will sniff yours.

I have been on your website, but short of installing your program, I cannot find any way to test it beforehand, to see what kind of sites would be linked to me. Perhaps you could let me know how your program differs, if any, from blog-coding programs such as BlogCode.com, or Blogroll.com, or WhoLinksToMe.com. If it does not differ, I fail to see how it would be useful to me, quite frankly. If, for instance, your program could generate new commenters to my site who are not assholes, this may be a plus. Or, on the other hand, if what I get is new assholes (and I cannot find that your implied promise of "highly qualified incoming traffic" precludes this) commenting, who have had their sense of humour surgically removed, and insist upon commenting on subjects of which they know nothing, that would be a minus. People often think that they are funny or intelligent when in fact they are neither. I can safely say this, as I am both funny and intelligent, and therefore am in a perfect position to criticize everyone else.

I also find that if people want to see whom I read, they can easily look at the blogs listed in my links. Unlike many blogs who will do automatic reciprocal links, I do not list people whom I do not read at least occasionally. Many other people link to me, yet I do not link to them. I would be uncomfortable with a program that would automatically link me with such people. It appears to me that your new program is this type of system. If I have misunderstood, please feel free to correct me.

Also, I notice that you mention that if I use your system, I would have "a very entertaining blog roll." Just how entertaining should my blog roll be? I would hate to have a blog roll that is more entertaining than my actual blog. It would rather defeat the purpose of my blog, would it not? I mean, upstaged by my own blog roll.... Just think of the pressure, and then of the sad and possibly untimely demise of my blog, all because I could not live up to the expectations of those who had looked at my very entertaining blog roll! And then there is the thought of more traffic on my blog. Do I need more traffic, or should I be more of a "planned growth" kind of blog? A virtual Master Planned Community, if you will. I wouldn't want to have so much traffic that I was accused of succumbing to that dreaded disease of planners everywhere -- sprawl.

I would suggest that maybe you could come up with a blog program that screens commenters. I know Blogspot (which I use) has "word verification," but I have found that even idiots, unfortunately, can type in a random string of letters and then attach their inane comments to my perfect post. I think that if you were to come up with some kind of IQ test, or some type of litmus test that would use some basic, predetermined requirements before a person would be allowed to post, you would be doing a great service for all of Bloggingkind. If and when you develop such a program, please feel free to contact me.

Thank you,

Fat Sparrow
http://fatsparrow.blogspot.com
TheFatSparrow@aol.com

22 comments:

First Nations said...

*snif* that was beautiful, man...

iLL Man said...

FS, you're far too bloody polite. In the time it took you to type that response, I think I'd have broken the world swearing record. Failing that I'd have suggested 'Peter' top himself for a laugh at my pleasure.

Old Knudsen said...

For God's sake you two just get a room and get on with the real intercourse.

Old Knudsen said...

The post not Ill man and FN, though if you both really want to..........

Manuel said...

You see i would have finished it with "and you can shove it up your arse..." or words to that effect. Not classy at all but the the heck. Its the little differences eh...

Conortje said...

Go Sparrow! I love the idea of an IQ test to see if you eligible to leave a comment. I wonder if you'll receive a response.

whyioughtta said...

Better yet, make Peter take the IQ test.

fatmammycat said...

Impressive meds you are on. Going from killing people intheir very sleep to uber politeness. I am impressed and I applaude you, I would also like the name of your chemist, not for me you understand, but for a friend.

Fat Sparrow said...

FN -- Why, thank you! There's no reason why insulting people can't be an art.

Ill Man -- "FS, you're far too bloody polite."

I believe that's the first time I've been accused of that one.

"In the time it took you to type that response, I think I'd have broken the world swearing record."

That would be impressive, as it only took me about 5 minutes to crap that out.

"Failing that I'd have suggested 'Peter' top himself for a laugh at my pleasure."

I really hope that's not a sexual reference.

Old Knudsen -- If we did, we'd charge you good money to watch, and you know you would, you sick fuck.

Manuel -- "You see i would have finished it with "and you can shove it up your arse..." "

I like to leave them questioning themselves as to whether they've been insulted or not.

Conortje -- "I wonder if you'll receive a response."

I doubt it. I held off posting this for about a month in the hope of receiving a response, but no joy.

Whyioughtta -- "Better yet, make Peter take the IQ test."

I'd like to make him take a spelling test.

FMC -- "Impressive meds you are on."

It's my own special mix of generic Valium and the store-brand whisky from Stater Bros. I obviously haven't got the dosage quite right just yet, as people keep irritating the fuck out of me. Still, I'd recommend it.

And I still say watch out for that Claire.

Eddie Waring said...

Therefore, let us pretend we are dogs; you have sniffed my backside, and now I will sniff yours.

Superb!

Fat Sparrow said...

Eddie -- Why, thank you. I'll try not to let it go to my head. Wait.... too late.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

You know, sometimes, I fail word verification.

:(

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

or should I be more of a "planned growth" kind of blog?

If you are looking for citizen input then I think there should be a chip-van and a swing-park in the comment-box so I can abandon my hungry children there as I blog-surf or go to the pub that I'm also lobbying you for.

Annie Rhiannon said...

"Therefore, let us pretend we are dogs; you have sniffed my backside, and now I will sniff yours."

Lollerskates.

I got a similar email from somebody (although it was minus any compliments, harrumph) and just replied that I didn't understand, so no thanks.

I still don't get it.

iLL Man said...

I have to say, I think I was drunk as a monkey when I posted that comment. Surprised myself with how obnoxious I was.......

Fat Sparrow said...

Sam -- "You know, sometimes, I fail word verification."

Only sometimes? You're doing better than me, then; I fail it most times.

"If you are looking for citizen input then I think there should be a chip-van and a swing-park in the comment-box so I can abandon my hungry children there as I blog-surf or go to the pub that I'm also lobbying you for."

An excellent plan, however I will need to raise taxes (the going rate will be 10 cents for every time I use the word "fuck" in a post) and schill for investment capital. Whoever invests at least 10 grand gets to pick the pub's name.

Annie -- "I got a similar email from somebody (although it was minus any compliments, harrumph) and just replied that I didn't understand, so no thanks. I still don't get it."

I couldn't figure out what their target market was, and I really don't believe they knew, either. From what I could figure out on their website, they're trying to get bloggers to use it so they can get free advertising, and then planning on charging commercial websites for it. I can't see any business being dumb enough to pay for it, as why would you want a list of your competitors popping up in a box on your website? I blame Google and YouTube; every tech geek is trying to get paid a billion dollars for creating nothing.

Ill Man -- "Surprised myself with how obnoxious I was."

That was you being obnoxious? Damn, you'd hate to see me on a bad day. I've been holding back on the blog, you know.

la fille mariée said...

I thought word verification was an IQ test. I was congratulating myself on getting it right most of the time. Damn.

NiolK said...

I'm a highly qualified asshole.

Kieran said...

I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm. Your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm.

I just wrote these words about you. I'm off to write some more. I've never really noticed what great lovers sparrows make, but those little beaks...

Goddamit where's Knudsen. I'm going to have him.

Kav said...

Heard anything back yet?

Fat Sparrow said...

La Fille Mariee -- I think of it more as an eye test. Although I usually don't do too bad on those.

Niolk -- Is that what you put on your CV? And if so, does it work?

Kieran -- Is that Spring in the air, or did your shipment of Viagra just arrive?

Kav -- No, and I don't think I will. It's been well over a month. I do believe they're going with the standard getting yer hole practice of asking a hundred women in a pub, in the hopes that one says "yes." They're not going to respond to the ones that say "no."

Sinead said...

I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm, yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new,in city and in forest they smiled like me and you, but now it's come to distances and both of us must try,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

Kieran you lying weasel. Did you just try to appropriate the words of Leonard Cohen and pass them off as your own?