Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Turkey Day to all my fellow Americans, and Happy.... uh, Thursday to you Brit-type people.

Sorry to fuck off like that, but I was entertaining an ambassage from Migrainia, and am still on the antibiotics for the stupid sinuses, besides. I am doing slightly better now, and thanks for all your well-wishes. I'll have a lot to catch up on from everyone's blogs, I'm sure.

I have cooked a turkey, I have eaten part of said turkey, and now I am drinking a huge, quadruple-size Scotch and 7-Up, a veritable Big Gulp of booze. This is to avoid the stripping, cleaning, and packing away of the previously mentioned turkey. Fuck self-cleaning ovens; when someone genetically engineers a self-cleaning turkey, then I will be impressed.

I am rather tipsy, which is nice, and my arms have just started feeling rubbery, which means it must be time for a refill soon, to achieve the full desired effect of holiday drunkenness. The kids are in bed, I have commandeered the computer from the Spouse Sparrow, and semi-drunken posting will now commence. Wait, it already has commenced. Someone forgot to cue the music, dammit.

Ah, and there's the closing credits. I'm off to drink some more, trawl your blogs, and finally put away the leftovers before Kav starts worrying about food poisoning. Don't worry, Kav, we didn't have any rice.

Fat Sparrow

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I'm just looking out for you, I'd rather you didn't die just yet.

Happy thanksgiving. I give thanks for fuck all this month. Roll on Christmas.

whyioughtta said...

You'd think with all these years of being holiday food, turkeys would have gotten the point and epigenetically transformed themselves into boneless lumps of juicy, roastable goodness. But turkeys are dumb. Deliciously, mouth-wateringly dumb. Happy Friday to you! May your post-holiday hangover pass swiftly.

fatmammycat said...

Sounds just about right. Go for the refill. I find if you mix it with cold medicine all manner of interesting things happen.

Fat Sparrow said...

Kav -- Yes, dear, I know. I'm just giving you shit.

Whyioughtta -- Thanks!

FMC -- Yep, I read about that one! :::giggles::: Considering that last week I had a dream about anal sex involving me and some complete strangers, and that was me dead sober, I don't think I'll be self-medicating.

Devin said...

My Goodness you're up late.I hope there's alcohol and/or sex in the offing.
Anyone for a cold turkey sanger?

Fat Sparrow said...

Devin -- I always am up late. I go to sleep early, wake up a few hours later, blog on, go back to sleep.

Yep, the alcohol is involved. Scotch & 7-Up. One for you while you're up? Or are you working?

Sex? What is this "sex" you speak of? I vaguely remember reading about it.... Back before I had kids, of course.

Anonymous said...

Hope you are feeling much better after the Scotch and Turkey fest.

Anonymous said...

fuckin yanks and your made up holidays, what s next eh? christmas not enough for you i bet you have a fuckin chikcen day and a goose day and lesbian day, actually we shoud have a fucknig lesbiab day i'll do that, turkey is shit though intit cos if it wasnt wed it all year but anyways, show us your turkey flaps

Fat Sparrow said...

Sassy -- Ooops, no. Sorry.

Haden -- It's about fucking time, you cunt. I thought you left me for some other bird.

I'll gladly support a goose day; I have a list of men I'd like to goose, you and George Clooney make the Top 10.

My turkey flaps are not fit to be shown at the moment; you'll have to wait 'til after I see the doctor.

fatmammycat said...

Don't get me started about bloody dreams and sex, vile vile, I'm still not right after it.

mutleythedog said...

Well theres some good news - at least its not your liver yet!